February 2012
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Back to Basics
Alright, so I’ve made yet another decision. This time it is on the direction of my blog. By now, most of you fucks are tired of hearing me whine about my life and the like.
So I’m going to return to my previous content. Back to comedic story telling. Epic tales of stupid shit I do or have done in the past.
Mostly because I’ve decided to stop being sad and start hating shit...
Anonymous asked: I wish I had the courage to ask you out on a date.
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Only I could do that.
It’s pretty ridiculous. I just injured my chin trying to walk out of a bathroom stall that wouldn’t unlock.
Grace and composure seem to be my weak points.
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Don't take offense if I foster feelings of hate...
It’s really funny how easy it is to develop an opinion on something. How easily feelings of comfort or happiness can be shattered by one bullet of a word.
It does nothing more then reinforce the idea that people are not made for me. Or perhaps, I’m not made for people.
Either way, I trusted someone and they used that to gain a one up on me. People are disgusting and evil creatures....
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Dear Internet,
I feel inclined to inform you that I hate how these underpants make my balls so sweaty. Now I need to jack off and shower because of this.
Figured I would inform you.
Sincerely,
-Todd
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McDonald's
I’ve decided that those who frequently dine at Micky Dee’s are about as sensible and rational as I am female.
“I’m going to order 7 double cheeseburgers and a big-mac, but with a diet coke and apple slices.”
Yeah, cuz that makes a whole lot of sense.
I just want someone to play fighting games with
Today was a shitty day and honestly, I just want someone to play fighting games against.
I dunno why, but it just feels like life is getting to me. I feel lethargic and unexcited by life.
Sometimes, I just want to escape. Just for a night. Watch a harbor and the moonlight dancing in the water.
Man, I’m getting fed up with life.
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Riding around with three dogs and Enrique Iglesias...
I’m going to be swimming in vagina tonight.
(If I were straight)
Horny.
I’m going to jerk off a whole bunch. Anyone wanna help?
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Oh
And I look ridiculous.
Oh, so that's how it feels to be beardless
It’s gone, guys. Beard is gone.
I feel like a mooseknuckle. Completely unwanted...
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I would like to be excused from the rest of my...
Seriously.
5 different customers called me a bastard today.
“Hi, I’m having issues with my device and I’m mad and going to take it out on you. I’m also not going to be sensible and I’m not going to troubleshoot, just going to be a dick”
Anonymous asked: Never mind, you wrote "Should I post more slutty photos?" implying that you posted some before. I was just confused. And yes you are quite handsome ^___^
Anonymous asked: You're a very handsome man. You posted "Slutty" pics before! We need proof ;)
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Should I post more slutty photos?
Y/N?
voguefemme replied to your post: I do not understand men
All men need to be shot in their cocks. Fuck them all. Especially in L.A. where if you’re a big guy you’re shit on their shoes. Ugh. I hate everyone right now
Come, let us hate together!
I do not understand men
Or women.
Or humanity.
They all confuse me. Therefore, I will go back to playing Skyrim. At least in this game, if I don’t understand something, I can kill it without shameless uncertainty.
Who would like to have sex?
Any takers?
…
I’ll buy you dinner!
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Reel Big Fish did a cover of Take On Me?
BONERS ABOUND.
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Message in A Bottle.
I’m just a castaway, and I am lost at sea-ooooh.
Anonymous asked: Lets trade pics
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Now I have to listen to "Carry On My Wayward Son"
Dammit, Tumblr.
FUCKING SKYRIM
Stop freezing on me. I want to get to level fifty. God damn.
chibimasshuu replied to your post: randomologie replied to your photo: Here are one…
How can you ref Chun-li and not know her moves?
Because I don’t pay attention to move names in fighting games. All I know is when I play Marvel vs Capcom, pressing the attack button a bunch makes the enemy die.
roahnari replied to your post: randomologie replied to your photo: Here are one…
It’s one of Chun Li’s specials, ya boob!
randomologie replied to your photo: Here are one pair of undies. And my ridiculously…
the qustion is can you do spinning bird kick ?
Say what now?
Let's keep it that way
Ke$ha song comes on Pandora, and I start singing along. Conversation goes like this.
Roommate: Who sings that song?
Me: A computer.
Roommate: Let's keep it th--
Roommate: ...
Roommate: Touché
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WAT
“I read most of your profile and we have a lot in common except for the games.” except for the games except for the games except for the games except for the games.
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Dear Boner,
Please kindly go away. I do not want to play with you right now. I get that you are excited, but there is a time and a place. And it is not here.
With love,
-Todd
serpens replied to your post: Sonic Adventures
Knuckles is an echinda. Otherwise, ACCURATE
I was talking about Amy.
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My challenge of the week.
Taking requests. I want you all to leave requests of something you want me to do. Leave it in my ask box, but do not ask anonymously. The requests must be something in my power to do, sensible, and legal. The 9th, non anonymous request that is left in my inbox will be the thing I do.
So, consider it the “9th caller wins a prize.” If there is something you have always wanted me to do,...
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Sonic Adventures
The story of a blue hedgehog traveling around with an underage fox and pink hedgehog trying to save the world from a scientist with a hormonal imbalance by collecting gems with supposed mystic powers and spending all night in a casino playing pinball as the ball.
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elaboratecarbon asked: do you take medication?
Any other requests on this lonliest of holidays?
Also, ask me shit. go.
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Did people still want the new underwear pics?
I forget.
(Sorry, straight friends)
Work?
Nope.
Sleep for the next two days? Yup!
Anonymous asked: Still haven't shown that pic of your new undies... just saying.
V-Day Asks
Ask me things. *fucking auto correct.*
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Guess I'll have to show Tumblr.
You guys will have to wait until I get off work though.
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New Underwear GET!
They are pretty fricken sweet. The only problem is that I’m at work where no one can see ‘em.
Sad. Panda.
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Blah
Blah
Submit or suggest some good porn
Horny. Time to jerk off.
I hate the fact I'm so dependant on people.
I wish it weren’t the case. I’m fed up. Fuck this world, fuck these people, fuck this life.
I’m done.
Anonymous asked: Are you interested in anyone as of this moment?
Fuck Him, Hes a DJ
Ok, Kesha. I love this song.